


Tell Me It's Okay To Love You

by SincerelyLeah



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean and Gabe doesn't get along at first, Depression, Emotionally Hurt Sam, Hallucinations, Hurt Sam, Keep Calm and Carry On, Kidnapping, Lucifer's Cage, M/M, Mary Knows Best, Mary can see the gayness her sons portray, Protective!Gabriel, Self-blaming, Supernatural Season 12 episode 1, Violent Thoughts, protective!Dean, scared!Sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 16:28:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8292401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SincerelyLeah/pseuds/SincerelyLeah
Summary: Toni should know when you chant an angel's name more than once it's a form of a prayer. Well, she might as well learn the hard way, but at least Sam's okay, isn't he?





	

Sam sat on the cold wooden staircase, his head laid against the railings as his breathing was far from normal. Haunted by the memories of his past as he whimpered and whined. 

Jess dying. Dean dying. Kevin dying. Charlie dead. Hell, even Cass dying. All his wrongs, drinking demon blood, trusting Ruby, killing Lilith, being in the cage with Lucifer. 

He tried his best to ignore them, he really did. But all Sam could do is watch, it's not like people didn't use his past to hurt him before, this isn't anything new, but it still hurts. The constant reminders of what he fucked up, what he did to cause pain to the ones around him, the ones he loved. 

He wasn't going to break. Not to that bitch. Although, he had nothing else to lose at this point, Dean's gone, Cass is nowhere to be found nor could he find him, everyone else either left or dead. It felt like hours, sitting there, watching his fears play out. 

However, the hallucinations started to get the best of him, but these thoughts, it wasn't like the others. Never in his time of getting mentally tortured like this did hallucinations of a certain archangel come to mind. Not even Lucifer dared to torture him with that. But there it is, a very vivid Gabriel stood before him. Actually, it was a very vivid Gabriel and a duplicate of himself. One of his most cherished times with the archangel. 

They were laughing and spending time together, it was some time after the Mystery Spot. Where him and Gabriel hung out without Dean noticing, this old memory and the image of Gabriel dying afterwards tore Sam a new one. A broken sob escape the hunter as he moved backwards onto the steps. Shaking his head as he held his ears.

This, caught the attention of Toni, who just came back from speaking with her son back in London. She watched closely and turned the mic on as Sam started whispering 'Gabriel, Gabriel,' over and over again. She started to think that Sam was starting to crack, and for that she was rather pleased. 

Sam was being continuously tortured by his memories with Gabriel. Toni watched as Sam progressively became worse, he had moved from the stairs to a corner, holding himself as he said sorry to whoever Gabriel was. Blabbering on and on how he's sorry he's dead, pleading for him to stop. But Toni couldn't hear anymore as Sam started whispering to himself, every now and then she heard Gabriel's name but anything else was useless, he was too quiet. 

Sam, miraculously fell asleep after a while, Sam thought this could be a break for him to regain his composure. To gain some rest. But was he wrong. 

He looked around in his dream and realized it was a past memory. He was in another motel, Dean was off driving somewhere and it was just him and Gabe. This was when Sam and Gabe hung out, he remembered this quite vividly as well, Gabriel had showed up, said he was bored and wanted to visit 'his favorite moose' and that ended with both of them on a bed, watching some movie on Sam's laptop. 

Sam had fell asleep during the middle of it and when he woke up in the morning Gabriel was nowhere to be seen but a tab was open on his laptop the search bar read, "Sleepy Sam is the best Sam, see you later Moose," 

Sam smiled at the end, it was good being haunted by a rather comforting memory than a horrible one. Although, he was sad when it was over, because that meant he would wake up and have to deal with the horrible memories. But a soft, "Sam," had caught his attention, he turned around to see Gabriel, looking at him. 

"Gabr-.." Sam was caught off by Gabe, "Sam, where are you? You're praying to me but I can't find you," Gabriel said quickly, his eyes covered in concern. Sam stepped away, "N-No, the only way you can see me if you're alive and peaking in my dreams, no, no, you're dead...," Sam whimpered, moving away from Gabriel as he held his head. 

"Sam, no, please, don't say that, I'm alive. Please kiddo, you gotta trust me on this one, we don't have a lot of time until you wake back up. So you need to tell me where you're at," Gabriel pleaded, coming closer to Sam. "Sammy please, please just tell me something, some clue to find you-" 

"You're not fuckin real! Stop! Please... please stop... I'm sorry, okay? I told you not to, I did, I told you not to go to him... I'm sorry Gabe, I'm so sorry," Sam had moved to a corner now, his breathing hitched. 

"Sammy, I'm real, I'm back, Dad brought me back, I swear to you he did. Please, you're warded, this is the closest I can get to you but you need to tell me where you're at," Gabe said, his voice soft and filled with worry. Sam looked up at Gabe, his eyes glassy with tears, "I-I don't know where I am, Cass is gone... Dean's dead, Gabriel, I don't know," Sam's voice was broken, dull. It made Gabriel's heart break even more just to hear it. 

"Sammy, you gotta give me something to work with, please dear," Gabriel pleaded, "It's cold, a basement probably, I honestly don't know, there's a British women of letters holding me captive... does that help?" Gabriel nodded, "Yes, yes, do you know her name? What she looks like?" 

"Toni... I believe her name is Toni. Uh, she's British, blond hair, white... why am I telling you this?" Sam started but questioned, "You're not real, just another mind trick," Sam's voice was so defeated, so lost. It shocked Gabriel, really, made him downright speechless. However, Gabriel moved closer to Sam, crouched down and placed a soft kiss on Sam's forehead. "Don't worry Sammy, id find you, alright? I'm going to find you and make that bitch pay," Sam just stared at Gabriel, not trusting himself to speak. 

Then, things started to fade to black and Sam was once again driven awake. Once conscious, he looked around, Gabriel was no where to be found. Sam sighed and went to lay his head back against the concrete walls only to find out he's been moved. His hands bounded again behind his back and his feet shackled onto a chair. The basement door opened and down came Toni, she held a knife, a type of knife Sam wasn't quite familiar with. It was sharp no doubt and had holes that ran alongside. 

"Sam, why how nice is it of you to join me again," she said as she walked towards Sam. She pressed the knife against Sam's lower lip and smirked, "I'm not pleased, not pleased at all," she continued, "You're not snapping as quickly as I hoped for," she said, staring at Sam, she dragged the knife across Sam's cheek as she made it bleed. 

"Mental breakdown is not getting me any closer to my answers," she muttered, quickly dragging the sharp knife against Sam's chest, a deep gash formed as blood started to gush out. Sam groaned and screamed in pain. "Tell me Sam, who's Gabriel?" she asked, a grin upon her face, "You seem to care a lot about him, whimpering his name, even got into a corner. So, amuse me, who is he and how does he make you break faster and harder than the own images of your brother?" 

Sam looked up at her, teeth clenched, "S-screw you," he muttered, slightly taken aback as she mentioned Gabe's name. "Oh Sam, so stubborn," 

 

~

 

"Dean-O! I thought you were dead," Gabriel snickered as he appeared in the back of the impala, besides Mary. Dean, out of complete shock, made the car go into a halt. The sudden stop was harsh as the car shook and made everyone in it shake as well. Gabriel raised an eyebrow, looking to his side to see Mary, "Whoa, who's the chick?" he asked, suddenly, a gun was aimed in different directions towards his face. Gabriel raised his hands in defeat, "What a nice welcome back," he said, looking at his little brother, who, was rather frozen in shock at the moment. 

"Hey, Cassie? Do you mind calling your boyfriend off as well for the lady?" Gabriel asked, Castiel shook his head, "You-You're dead, how..?" Castiel started, "Awh, come on, do you all really think that after Dad comes back, reunites with Aunty Amara and not find the time to restore me?" Gabriel asked, eyeing his baby brother, "Is... is it really you?" Castiel asked, only making Gabriel smile, "Yep, it's me, really me, not some illusion casted by Meta-Dick," 

"Dean, it's really Gabriel, put the gun down," Dean looked at Castiel, raising his eyebrow, Castiel only nodded for reassurance. Dean slowly puts his gun away and motions for Mary to do the same. "Sam's in trouble," Gabriel starts, "He started to pray for me, I tried to find him, but couldn't. He warded. But, however, I was able to get into one of his dreams and speak to him there. He believes you're dead Dean, he thinks Cass is gone and he's getting tortured by some British bitch. Someone named Toni and she's a women of letters. Sam doesn't know where he's at, he only told me he's in some basement. I know it's not much to go by, I'm sorry. I'm very weak at the moment, I'm not at full power yet," Gabriel explained, all eyes on him. 

"Why should we trust in you?" Dean asked, Gabriel's expression turned rather cold as he glared at Dean, "Because even though that's a poor lead, it's the only thing you got and just like you, I would like to see Sam again," Gabriel muttered, Dean was going to say something, only to be cut off by Mary. "Who the fuck is he? And Dean don't give me that, 'I'd explain later,' I want answers now. How do you know my sons?" Mary asked, gun then again pointed at Gabriel. 

"Who is she?" Gabriel asked, rather pissed off at the moment. Before Dean can intervene, Cass spoke up. "Gabriel, that's Mary, Mary Winchester. Mary, this is my brother and archangel, Gabriel," Gabriel looked rather surprised, "Mary? Mary Winchester? As in Sam and Dean's mother?" Castiel nodded, "How exactly?" 

"Amara. She brought her back, Mom, Gabe is, uh, a friend, you can put your gun down," Mary slowly put her gun down, still eyeing the archangel. “I'm not lying, please, I just want to find Sam. I promised him I'd find him,” Gabriel said, “Since when you were so close to him?” Dean snarled, Gabriel merely smirked before disappearing again. 

 

~

 

“Gabriel, Gabriel, Gabriel, please tell me what's so important about this Gabriel?” Toni asked, slicing Sam's skin once again. Sam groaned and threw his head back, “Sc-Screw yourself!” he yelled, Toni rolled her eyes as she went to start the cold shower again. “Come on Sam, all of this would stop if you just answered a few questions,” 

Sam started shivering again, with another ‘Screw yourself’ Toni sighed. “You know Sam, you said you've been tortured by the Devil himself. I would assume that would include mental torture as well, am I right? So why when this Gabriel character comes up, you break harder than you ever did in your time here,” 

Sam was going to spew another ‘Screw yourself’ but his voice was caught in his throat as a certain somebody stood behind Toni. “You know, saying an archangel’s name over and over like that is a form of a prayer, right?” a voice peeped up from behind Toni. Toni spun around to see Gabriel, glaring at her as it took every inch of him to not rip Toni apart. “Gab-Gabriel? The archangel?” Toni asked, her voice shaky. 

“Father’s most feared weapon,” Gabriel said, stalking up to Toni, a soft smirk on his face, “You know, Toni, if you didn't have a very angry group of Winchesters and Angel on you, I would have dealt you mercy and already killed you myself, but, seeing as you do, I'd leave you to them,” Gabriel growled out before placing two fingers on her forehead and instantly knocking Toni out. Gabriel watched as she fell on her knees and face planted to the floor. 

Gabriel looked up and frowned when he saw Sam, he snapped his fingers and the water turned off. Sam was shivering, shaking his head as he tried to look away from Gabriel. “Kiddo, kiddo look at me, I told you I'd find you..,” Gabriel said as he walked closer to Sam, “N-Not real…, not real,” Sam whimpered. Gabriel sighed, shaking his head as he walked up to Sam, dragging Toni behind as he focused on teleporting to a hotel in Kansas. Even though it'd use up a lot of his grace, he has to. 

Gabriel teleported them into a hotel room, panting a little as he took a step back. Sam looked confused, “H-How..?” Sam questioned, Gabriel smiled, “I told ya Sammy, don't you ever listen to me Moose? I'm alive, I'm real and I'm here to protect you,” 

When Sam said nothing Gabriel sighed, “Come on, we need to get you cleaned up, dear,” Gabriel helped Sam into the bathroom, Sam was too far gone. Toni probably gave him another LSD shot, he cusses himself for not being too quick. “May I, sweetheart?” Gabriel asked as he placed his fingers under the hem of the dirty shirt. Sam merely nodded in approval. 

Gabriel took off his shirt, pants and boxers, running a warm bath for Sam as he settled the hunter in. He made sure to keep his burned foot above water for now. “Stay right here, Moosey, and relax,” Sam didn't say anything, Gabriel assumed because the warm water was soothing to him. 

Gabriel stood up, walking out of the bathroom and looked down at Toni. A surge of rage ran through his body, he just wanted to kill the bitch for putting Sam through this much pain. He was mad, not only at her, but himself, mad that he wasn't at full power to just zap Sam alright. Gabriel tied Toni up, and threw her in the closet before going back to Sam. He conjured up some clothes for him which wasn't too hard on his grace, but his next task will be. Sam's foot. 

It was going to take a fuckton out of Gabe, but it needs to be done. He crouched down next to Sam who didn't even noticed, Sam seemed somewhat at peace. Gabriel smiled before placing his hand over Sam's foot, concentrating as he sent his grace through Sam's foot and started to heal it. Once it was done Gabriel stumbled, holding onto the tub as he tried to balance himself. Gabriel panted, groaning softly, his head was spinning and he was in the midst of passing out. 

“Gabriel…?” Sam asked, the soft, trusting sound in his voice made Gabriel push every pain and dizziness away to look up at Sam and smile. “Hey Kiddo,” he mumbled, “Is… is that really you? You're really back?” Gabriel smiled, nodded his head. “Come on sweetheart, you've been through enough. You need to rest, I'm sorry, for I am still weak and I can't do much to help your wounds now,” Gabriel explained, Sam only nodded. Gabriel helped Sam dry off and into the new pair of clothes. 

Helping him into the master bed as he laid Sam down slowly. Despite his lack of energy, he tucked Sam under the covers. “Rest, Moosey, you need it,” Gabriel said, but before Gabe could stand and leave Sam to sleep, Sam held Gabriel’s wrist and pulled him back. “Stay? Please? Please stay?” Sam pleaded, Gabriel eyes grew in shock, “Are you sure, dear?” Sam nodded, Gabriel smiled as he laid down with Sam. Gabriel had positioned them so that Sam's head would be placed on top of Gabriel's chest. So his ear would be pressed against his heart, so he can hear it. 

Gabriel could feel Sam relax by the action, closing his own eyes as he combed his fingers through Sam's hair. Gabe would call Dean and Cass later, right now he just wanted to sleep with his moose. 

 

~

 

Gabriel was the first to wake up, a banging at the closet door shook him awake. He was still weak, very weak, a few more hours of sleep and he should have been good. But no, the bitch of letters wanted to make all type of noises. Sam, who was still sleeping made him smile. Gabriel combed his fingers through Sam's hair again before the noises started to annoy him. 

He moved carefully, not wanting to wake Sam. He reached for his phone as he dialed Dean's number. One, two, three, “Asshole,” Gabriel smirked, “Dean-O! What a way to speak to the guy who saved your little brother, eh?” 

“What?” came the sharp voice of Dean, “Yep, tell Cassie to zap your asses to Lebanon, Kansas. Hotel called ‘Paradise’ and if you're fast enough, I won't kill off your surprise,” Gabriel hung up the phone and sat down next to Sam again. “It's okay Sammy, you're okay,” 

Suddenly a rustle of wings were heard and Castiel, Dean and Mary stood in the middle of the room. “Nice for you ladies to join us,” Gabriel snickered, Dean, who instantly pushed through Gabriel and towards his brother. “Sammy? Sammy? Come on man, wake up,” Dean shook Sam awake, only for Sam to gasp in fear. Sam pushed Dean away, looked up and saw Mary and went into more of a panicked state. But when his eyes landed on Gabriel he was able to fall off the bed and scream to himself. 

“Leave! Leave me alone! Please, please, please,” Sam said, “Dean, back off, they gave him LSD. He believes most of us are dead,” Gabriel informed, Dean nodded, “He knows I'm alive,” Castiel said, moving closer towards Sam. 

“Hey? Sam? Sam it's okay, it's me,” Sam's eyes focused on Castiel. “Cass? Y-You're alive? You found me? Do… do you see them as well?” Sam asked softly, Castiel nodded. 

“I can assure you Sam, they're real, everyone is real in this room,” another loud bang came from the closet, making everyone look at Gabriel. “Oh, didn't I tell you over the phone Dean-O? I have a surprise,” Gabriel walked over to the closet and snapped his fingers. The door open and out fell Toni. “Dean-O, Cassie, Mrs. Winchester, meet the bitch of letters,” 

“Gabriel.., how did you even find Sam if he was warded?” Dean asked, “Something i'd explain once we’re somewhere else,” Gabriel said, looking at Cass. 

“He's right. This is all too risky, we need to go to the bunker now,” Cass said, “Everyone make physical contact with me,” 

Once everyone made some type of physical contact with Cass, Cass zapped them to the bunker. “Wait here, i'd put her in our own basement,” Dean said as he picked Toni up and moved her to the basement. She was tied up pretty nicely, so Toni couldn't do much to escape him. 

“Dean, Sam told me you were dead,” she started, “Yeah? Well, guess not then,” Dean muttered, trying to keep away from conversation because it just made him even more tempted to slit her throat. Without no more words, Dean put Toni in the basement and locked it. Leaving back and to Sam's room where he assume Cass and the others went. 

“How is he?” Dean asked as he entered the room, “Still freaked out, he believes none of us, expect for Cass, is real,” Gabriel told him, Mary was looking at her son, pure worry, but she had stood back. Still in need of answers, even though she kept quiet. 

“Castiel..? They're real? Right? All of them? I'm not hallucinating again? Is… is Gabriel real? Dean? My-... my…-” 

“Shh, shh, yes Sam, they're all real,” Castiel reassured him. “Gabriel, you're alive…?” Gabe smiled and nodded, walking up to Sam. “Of course I am, kiddo,” Sam smiled, “Pl-please don't leave me again,” Sam pleaded, Gabriel took his hand, “Of course, I don't plan on it, Moose,” 

“Gabriel, I need to heal him, but doing so will knock him out for a few hours,” Castiel said, “Yeah, of course, you hear that Sam? You're going to feel all better when you wake up,” 

“You're not going to leave me, right? When I wake up, you'd be here. Right?” Sam asked, looking at Gabriel, “Yes Sam, I'd be here, but now you need to sleep. When you wake up, then tear me a new one, alright?” 

“No, I can't do that,” Sam started, “When you died… dammit I told you not to face Lucifer, why… why did you do it? It wasn't suppose to happen like that,” 

“Sam, please kiddo, you need to sleep,” Gabriel said, Sam was touching around a rather secret memory that only him and Sam shares. “No, Gabriel please-” Sam was getting wild up, it broke Gabriel heart but he knew when Sam was in a better head, he would have wished he never said anything. “Cass, please,” Castiel nodded and sent his grace through Sam. Slowly, but surely putting Sam to sleep as Cass’ grace made their work and started to heal him. 

Gabriel sighed and took the moment to place a soft kiss on top of Sam's head. “Rest, my love,” Gabriel mumbled in Enochian. Cass gave him a glance of confusion which Gabe only looked at him and shook his head. Once Gabe stood up he was immediately pushed Gabriel up against the wall. 

“Hey, Dean-O, hands off the merchandise,” Gabriel chuckled, “I'm not fuckin around with you anymore, what's between you and my brother, huh? How did you find him?!” 

The room went silent. Everyone looking at Gabriel for an answer. 

“Toni, Toni was saying my name long enough to act like a prayer. Pinpointed her location and teleported there,” 

“Why the fuck would she know about you? And if she knew who you were why would she keep on saying your name? It doesn't make sense,” 

“Dean! That is enough, put Gabriel down, please? He found Sam and even got the girl who tortured him and you're questioning him like he's some type of suspect. Sam's alright and when he wakes up, then we'd have everything get explained, but until then, how about we all calm down and get some rest?” Castiel surprisingly said, Dean was surprised by Cass’ outburst but agreed to it. 

He had let Gabriel go, looking at Sam once more before sighing and leaving the room. Castiel shook his head as he looked at his brother, “We're not finished here,” Castiel said as he looked at Gabriel before leaving the room. 

Mary looked at Gabriel, the last thing Gabe needed was to even get on the wrong terms with his mother. She walked up to Gabriel and smiled, “Thank you, for saving my son,” she said, smiling at Gabe. She passed him and went to Sam, running her fingers through his hair and kissed the top of his forehead. 

“It's my pleasure, Mrs. Winchester,” Gabe said as he took one more glance at Sam before leaving him and his mother at peace.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a review, say if you liked it! 
> 
> Or just rant how much you hate Toni, I'm content either way.


End file.
